I am not an independent woman.

Ask my 6 weeks ago to describe myself, and one of my first choice words would have been independent.  I was proud of being free to move locations freely, travel, and bop around on countless long weekend escapades. Care free, prioritizing myself, controlling of my little world- all these are pieces of my independence. Fast forward to this morning...

DO EVERYTHING IN DEPENDENCE ON ME. The desire to act independently-- apart from ME- springs from the root of pride. Self-sufficiency is subtle, insinuating its way into your thoughts and actions without your realizing it. But apart from Me, you can do nothing: that is, nothing of eternal value. My deepest desire for you is that you learn to depend on Me in every situation. I move heaven and earth to accomplish this purpose, but you must collaborate with Me in this training. Teaching you would be simple if I negated your free will or overwhelmed you with My Power. However, I love you too much to withdraw the godlike privilege I bestowed on you as MY image-bearer. Use your freedom wisely by relying on Me constantly. Thus you enjoy My Presence and My Peace. 

Yup- *insert hand raising emoji* ME. PROUD. This woke my 6AM sick self up. Independent to a fault of my sinful nature.  Jesus Calling continues to be a breath of fresh air (honestly my attempt to not look at social media in the morning- so I open this app instead) I am not suppose to be independent. My mindset is wrong, really wrong. My pride is rooted deep. The silent yet fierce pride of my lifestyle, choices, and priorities  dictated much more of my life, than Jesus. My controlling nature defaults to brainstorms and daydreams of my future. But this takes away from my sight for God's hand in my present. Exhibit A: Finding a hidden supply of medicines for a patient in need. A 6 year old applying her desire to learn and apply herself, Spanish Phonics are not an easy subject. A close-knit family gathered to celebrate another birthday. Arriving before the daily downpour.


So, before I crash from a long day I needed to write to y'all. I am grateful for this seed-planting season of renewal- springtime. What a blessing to have what feels like ample time to process and dive into God's Word.

Havilah Cunnington writes SPRING "is a season for new growth and new beginnings.Each of us will experience these seasons in God because He is committed to our growth and fruitfulness! These are times when we experience heaven's fresh rain falling on our dry land. And this is a sovereign moment in time; a time when what we have planted will begin to grown and what we hope for will spring forth. Spring is a time of planting and activity. Spring is a time for work and effort ti army out instructions given in winter. Spring is time of plowing new ground. " 

Havilah also says, No matter the season:
God will be FAITHFUL to you.
God is FULLY aware of your season.
God is ALL POWERFUL.
God is WORKING everything out!
Seasonal change will eventually COME!